Today I bring you another episode for the “Oh, honey…no” files. There’s not much I can say to prepare thine eyes for this hot mess so here we go:
Image courtesy of Bloomingdale's
My retinae are burning as I type. You could own this travesty of denim for a mere $196. That’s $196 for a pair of skinny, crop jeans (which, may I just say, are so tight they’re almost jeggings) that will make it look like you got in a fight with a jug of Clorox.
Shame on the designer. Shame on the Bloomie’s buyer. Shame on any woman that wears them. A pox on all your houses!
Jeggings. What awful images does this word conjure up for you? Whatever you thought, it’s worse.
Image courtesy Splash News
This photo makes a little part of me die every time I look at it.
Whitney Port, while I like you and think you are just about the best listener and facial reactor in the not-so-reality show world, you have GOT to quit the jeggings.
This is one of those truly horrible “trends” (I refuse to remove the quotes until I see at least 10 celebs wearing them) that swoop in every few years and claim young, naive, fashion victims.
Die, jeggings. Die.
Unfortunately, I have another awful trend to report. Apparently, crochet is back. Ew.
I’ve just barely gotten over the embarrassment of the horrific crochet halter top I wore to every single outdoor concert in the summer of ’96 and now, I’m expected to live it all over again?? No thank you, I say. This is not a look I wish to revisit. It just screams “I watched the movies Reality Bites and Clueless and listened to Lisa Loeb every single day of my teenage life!” While I’m at it, why not throw on a flowery baby doll dress and some hiking boots? Or maybe you’d like an oversize flannel short to layer over that?
Once again – No, just…no.
Let me be clear. I’m not a fashion drone. I don’t fall all over myself trying to stay on top of every trend that comes down the runway or shows up in the pages of the magazines. I don’t believe something is attractive just because a designer or editor decrees it so.
Let me be even clearer. I think sometimes, high fashion is downright ugly and unflattering. Cases in point: one-piece jumpsuits, harem pants, the return of massive shoulders and these atrocities:
Image courtesy of Style File
Seriously??? Hooves??? This is just wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG. And that’s the best I can do. I have no idea what else to say about this. The Raleigh Fashionista is officially left wordless.